Thursday, July 8, 2010

Take Forever To Live Your Life

Sound advice if you never want to get anything done. This is how.

Take Forever To Live Your Life

Take your ambition, your dreams, desires, and all those felt feelings that were inexplicably too intense. Fashion them into a bullet and drive it through what is left of your heart.

Take a quarter century to begin to do anything. Take each moment for granted. Take a long time to begin and take even longer to build. Take eternity to finish. Take forever to live your life.


Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

The River And The Map

Journey. To whatever destination, by whatever means.

The River And The Map


I have heard rumours of a river
Where I may kneel on small rocks
And drink the blood of gods
Or baptize my life in water

The maps to this river were burned
By men drinking whiskey

And men who no longer drink whiskey
Labor without rest
To redraw the map from memory

I enjoy sitting long hours with
The men who burned the map

But I fear my age, new beard, and
An ancient lack of progress
May mean it is time, once again,
To walk with the disciples of lost memory

And struggle, with page and pen
To forget what can’t be forgotten
And remember what I never knew

It could be the time now
To labor at an unclear and
Indefinite task

Hoping to stumble upon a purpose
The purpose, my purpose
Or a reward, a restful period
Or a direction

The way to the rumoured river
The map may draw itself
Upon my page

The lines trapped in my pen
For my hand to free them

Then when the map is redrawn
I can leave the wandering and happy souls
And take the map to men with whiskey

I will trade it for idle peace
And drink their whiskey
While they burn my map

I can do all this, or stay here, now
The journey itself could be welcome change



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

This Was A Secret Before Now

This Was A Secret Before Now

Bless your heart
For forgetting
When you did

You made nothing matter
And in so doing
Freed me from all
That tied me to you

I am everybody’s best friend
And enemy
I’m everything you never
Knew you loved



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

Good Word

Good Word

I put away
My bastard 101 textbook
Bukowski reader

Grew warm
And soft in Jesus
Became a bleeder

Heart bleeds from pain
Tongue bleeds from too many nonsense words
Spoken as directed
By my misdirected brain

Now, here I am
Damned
Damned for all the “do’s” and “doesn’ts”
I never did anyway

Traded street poets
For Old Testament prophets
Cigarettes and sipping dregs
For sacramental wine and plagues
Scribbling every dirty thought
For who begat whom and whose only begotten

Self-inflicted wounds and addiction needs
For the blood and body and rosary beads

Whosoever is writing
And whatever mouth speaks
It’s all scripture to me

Falling off your barstool
Like sacrificial lambs
The slaughter may be slower
But it’s the same kind of damned

Offering whiskey advice
Off a slow-numb tongue
Does about as much good
As offering up your first born son
When all you had to do
Was paint with a little blood

Cohen isn’t Christ
But he speaks just as nice

Between a line and a verse
A psalm and a proverb
What’s the last good book you read
Or the last good word you heard?

Poets and prophets
Get a disciples’ funeral
Salvation in God
Spares from death eternal
And a million in print
Can make you immortal



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

I Am The Bugs

To live with yourself. No one else will.

I Am The Bugs

I feel like a sinner, whenever
I’m awake or it’s day

I’m like a flea drawn to blood
A spider binding victims

An ant that has lost the trail,
While burying the dead

I feel like a sinner all day,
But at night

I am an insect
I am that six-foot cockroach

With an apple phobia and patricide dreams
I am a balled up pill-bug

Stuck shut and on an incline
I am a silverfish in a bug spray ocean

I am a sinner all my life
But in my dreams

I die the deaths of insects



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

A Bird In A Tree Shit On My Heart

One of my first attempts at something real. With jokes. I enjoy the telling of bitter-sweet tales.


A Bird In A Tree Shit On My Heart

The prettiest bird
I’ll ever see
Landed on a nearby limb

It took me for
A pitiable man
And thought, “I’ll chirp love into him.”

It calmed my soul
With the first golden song
The melody shall haunt me, all my life-long

I fed the bird
A piece of bread
From the freshest loaf I had

Slowly enough
It picked at the crumbs
But my manna had gone bad

I petted the head
Offered water, and bath
But I’d sickened the thing, I’d suffer the wrath

It’d given me love with wings
My love’d made it sick
I spoke in lilting tones to sooth it

The bird was made ill
That was nauseous at the start
A bird in a tree shit on my heart

I gave it a worm
To stay in her grace
To earn the song which shines on my grateful, dirty face

But it had been startled
And guessed me as a foe
The error stained on my heart, for all the world to know

I tried to pet the feathers
And felt my own heart swell
At touching the perfection of the only bird who sings so well

No nightingale, or robin
No blue jay, or meadowlark
Will ever sing a melody as gorgeous as the bird who owns my heart

I gave it each worm
I could dig up
The writhing trinkets only mean so much

I tried to bake my heart
Into fresh, new loaves of bread
The little bird may never eat my meager crumbs again

Outstretched towards her branch
Is my heart in my hand
Dripping with shit from my own moldy bread

The bird sings much softer
And I strain my ears
To that perfect, golden song, the only sound I long to hear

The bird has not
Yet flown away
If she’d did, I’d go and get her

Though it was my food
That poisoned us
I will learn to feed her better

The fault is my own
The bird is not all mine
I will sit beside her in that tree, until it is no longer my time

Precious still, is every note
Voice is weak in straining throat
Yet a song as sweet as angels could’ve wrote

I fear to stroke the feathers
And bring water to the beak
The song-bird is a wonder, and I, the flawed and meek

The little bird
That once was ready
To perch upon my finger

Has given me
My favorite song
Every note, forever lingers

For the return to
That glorious place
All the love on Earth I’ll bring her

The beautiful wings and tiny feet
Briefly held inside my hand
The plans of mice and men are even less, next to those of a bird and a man

To hear her singing
Loud again
The only purpose for which I have fervour

To the bird I am a hunter now
Though I’ll always hold her dear
She and I are nervous now, though we sit so near

She will sing again for me
Until it is so, I’ll never rest
For what use are my ears, if not to hear the song I love the best

The song she sings is softer now
I strain my heart, my soul, my ears
To listen to the only perfect bird, sing the last golden song I’ll ever hear



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

In Service

Desire is my master. And she has twisted me.


In Service
(In My Own Majesty’s Secret Service)

I came to report for duty
But my Country would not have me

So I found several strong desires
That I could serve instead

First it was to Ink and Page
Whom, to this very day, I remain a slave

Then I gave my love to Amber Fluids
Which my liver quickly sent away

To the Cinema, I surrendered my entire heart
It only loves me back between the film’s end and it’s start

I offered the whole of my mind to Literature
With it’s sweet, empty promise to take me from here

I sacrificed my blessed soul to Song
Who lied, and said they’d been singing about me all along

I left all my pain with my family
They put their pain in a duffel bag and shouldered it on me

I pledged to spend every single night with Fear
But it seeped out into my days, now it’s always near

By a Woman I became employed to work at my loyalty
Before my work is done, I am dismissed, then hired by another agency

In secret service to these masters
Has always served me well

I asked what I could do for Country
And my Country wouldn’t tell

The Ink, the Drink, the Song to sing
The Film based on the Book

The family of Pain, the Fear-torn days
My loyalty as all-important work

With each and every part of me
Obligated, contractually

Signed on the dotted line
With blood for ink in a pen of fire

Pledged for eternity
To kneel before my desire

In all of this, pleasure and tragedy
I remain in secret service of your majesty



Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

The Hangers-On (To Her Glory)

If love is a religion, god is a woman, and this is the story of how I found a faith that lasts.

The Hangers-On (To Her Glory)

I have seen The Icon
I was not asked for my devotion,
But I gave it freely

I knelt before The Epic
When asked why I worshipped,
No words did my reasons justice

I saw the beauty of living Art
But all art has beauty
For beauty alone I would not go half as far

A pilgrimage to Mecca
To look inside The Heart
With The Icon’s gaze averted, I can safely start

I pray at Your Temple
At two every morning
And find there a thousand other hangers-on to Your Glory

I basked too long in reverence
At The Icon of my age
And took all my devotion up, confined it to the page

I will speak freely of Her Majesty
From my tiny, private stage
Even though I whisper, my tongue is un-afraid

I must have been a fool to think
I was the only blind man who could see
The light that shines from angel’s eyes does not shine only for me

Though I am blessed still, in Her company
The Redemption Song that She will sing
Will not be sung for me

I am not made whole in idle worship
This is no great tragedy
The Idol that refuses, now can be set free

The Pilgrim tells the story
Of the endless joy of being
One of the multitudes of hangers-on, hanging from Her Glory

The High Priestess set forth rituals
And She, and I commenced
To burn the candles, Fear and Love, with the flame of desirelessness

Before I left, I took The Vow
And every word I meant
There are others still, in Her Temple, let them pay the rent

I took with me a golden statue
And on it carved The Name
In between the missing letters, read all the ways we are the same

Into the shrine I etched a diamond
One for every way I forgot to Love
Then I scratched a million lines, for all that I did wrong

I am a humble, devout servant of The Heart
The Icon has divined for me
The lines between Life, and Love, and Art

My longing was acknowledged
My heart seen in a truer state
In new light my flawed desire seemed so out of place

I bow before Your Alter
Light a candle that will burn as bright, as long
As this humble pilgrim will go wand’ring on

Though my midnight serenade will fade, and then be gone
I’m grateful to have dwelt in a Holy place for so long
I will cherish the small salvation that has been granted me

While employed as a hanger-on to Her Glory


Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

What Would You Do For Me?

Ever been codependent? Asked too much of someone? Demanded more than you deserved? Tried to choke out every last ounce of love?

What Would You Do For Me?

If I lose my way,
Will you lead?
If my voice is gone,
Would you speak?
If my heart slows down,
Can you keep the beat?
If I lose my rhythm,
Can you get us back in sync?
If I lost my mind,
Could you think?
If I say I’m thirsty,
Will you let me drink?
If I’m caught,
Would you be free?
If I live this way,
Will you die with me?
When I am blind,
Can you still see?
If I leaned on you,
Would you be my crutch?
If I never asked for anything,
Would you still give too much?
When will I ask you to stop doing everything I ask you?
When will I ask you to make me start doing things for myself?

Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

Bad Thief

This is a true story. Generally, the way it always goes. If you've ever tried something, and not been very good at it.


Bad Thief

I stole someone’s pen
To empty my head
Of its thoughts

I stole everything in the world
But, my girl, you’re still
The only thing I really want

I stole a bad line or two
I swear I meant them
When I said them to you

I stole an angels wings
They molted at my touch
They didn’t fly or do anything

I stole the launch codes for the bomb
But just like it always goes
Lost them after not very long

I stole the shine from the sun
In a brief moment when I forgot
That I like it all dim

I stole the purr from a cat
But there wasn’t really much
I could do with that

I once stole the smile from your face
And I’ve been trying my damnedest
To put it back ever since

I stole the feather from a bird
Dipped it in ink and wrote
Over and over again just one word

Then I tried to take control
It can’t be stolen
If it can’t be owned

I stole a kiss, but it was from her
Got caught, sent to prison for life
But it was worth it

Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

Between Nightmares

Short. Not at all sweet. A musing about both sides of "love". I guess.

Between Nightmares


I’m alive in the
Nightmares between
The times you come true
Like a dream

Shave my face
Cut my hair up
Wash the car and
Show off the scars from my love

Sharp and ugly
Ever present
It’s the dark cloud
It’s the sunshine
Always above me

I’m buried
Beneath the weight
Of the wanting
Love and pain

I’m crushing
Under the wait
Of the desire
To grow wings

To kiss your face

Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010

To The Things That Never Left

Loose rhyme scheme, and erratic meter. I'm okay with that.


To The Things That Never Left



I feel as though you’ve left me
That our rocky course is run

If, that I have lost you
May it only be this once


I’ll miss the future, mostly
The sweetest songs unsung

We endured all we could
We burned so close to love

Each memory is perfect
But still not good enough

If, that I have lost you
I’m relieved it’s only once


Never thought I’d have you
More than that, I knew

Self-fulfilling prophecy
In all our lies, come true

From holding on too tightly
I’ve lost my grasp of you

If this is your leaving
May it be once that I live through


As awful as it seems to be
Teary eyes will smile when it mends

Someday, some time from now
When we recall the things that never left

Forever mine, in limited time
My dream, my lover, my friend


If it’s true, I’ve lost you
I won’t have to lose you again


All the good, and all the bad
Can never be undone

For better or for worse,
It will be exactly what it was

I’ll take the blame, you take the credit
For our failed attempt at love

If it is, I’ve lost you
I could only suffer it this once


Sonny Giordano, Valentine Media(c), 2010